Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
