idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
