I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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