just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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