I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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