How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
