Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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