What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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