make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
