I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
