My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
