Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
