I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Randomize
