the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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