somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
