He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
