Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
