I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A+ Viking dick
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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