lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
