I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
