I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
