Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
