I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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