Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
