I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
