break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
