we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
