where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
