I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
