she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
