The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
