operation harelip BJ is a go
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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