Please, let me fuck your mom
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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