1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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