theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
