First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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