You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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