Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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