Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
