You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
