Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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