i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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