btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
