The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
