So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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