I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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