Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
