3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
