I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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