hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
