so explain again why im purple
no
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
