Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

You're completely useless in the revolution.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.

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(571): View more from Virginia

You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't even know what potassium is.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I honestly don't know what to make of that.

(423): View more from Tennessee

A ham sandwich would be nice.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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(316): View more from Kansas

I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.

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